Sunday night I was in a love prayer w/ God, troubled over the commencement speech and honoring at Notre Dame. Catholic identity and lack of ethical and moral principles among my brothers and sisters in my Catholic faith was disturbing and distressing to me. The blatant, arrogant, and secular way that they chanted down a pro-life voice with "Yes we can!" is just too much to have to see live on television.

I mean, think about it...if some upset individual had spoken out at any other commencement speech, the students would have expected the authorities to handle it. In this case, some brave individual spoke up on behalf of truth, and the murdering of preborn human beings, and he was shouted down, drown out by Christians.  I clung close to my Father God, allowed His love to engulf me, for me, and for them, and for our country. Then I fell asleep.

While sleeping, I had a strange and vivid dream that I could say was near to being a nightmare.

I don't have many nightmares since being a teenager when I prayed not to have them anymore. If this dream that I speak of was going to be a nightmare, it didn't get to that point because I woke up. I normally will wake up or I will change the dream while still sleeping so that it does not become a nightmare. When I was a teenager, I had several nightmares that came true. I had one tht was like a vision of the spiritual realm with spiritual warfare going on also. It was a horrible dream and the demons were horrid and vicious. That day I prayed about it and I told God that I did not care to have that much information. I asked never to have nightmares or visions such as this ever again. That is just some info on me and my experience with dreams.

In this early-morning dream, I was outside heading somewhere on foot with some determination. My dog, Jazzmin, was with me. I wish I could recall more detail but I am writing all that I can remember. In fact, I had tried to remember it after waking, and I tried to understand the meaning of it, and then went back to sleep after that exercise. I knew that it had an important message, but usually I don't understand until I write it, so here we are.

I turned to look at my dog that was not keeping up with me. I was shocked to see her with a living white and hairy or furry animal in her mouth. It looked like a lamb or another small dog. The fur was a brilliant white, actually, and shiny, like some stuffed animals that have that shiny acrylic fur. She was on the ground with this victim of hers, and did not appear to notice that I was looking at her, possibly because I continued forward. I had been walking quickly, on some mission, it would seem; but I slowed at the sight of this cruelty.  I did not stop completely. I snapped at my dog, calling out her name, disturbed that she had caught some poor harmless animal and was intent to hurt or devour it, while it stayed silent.

When she heard me sharply call, "Jazzmin!" she dropped the creature out of her mouth and yet she still held it down in her paws. She looked at me as she does when she knows that she did something I did not approve of. And when it dropped solid but limp from her mouth, there was no doubt that I had correctly judged what she was doing. There was blood on the fur of the other animal. It was hurt, but I assumed it was still alive.

Because I stared at my dog, she relented from possessing the animal's body. As my white and blond dog rose from her position, she quickly became a larger black dog, like a small labrador. I did a double-take, thinking that was weird, really weird. I stopped, then, looking at her several feet away from me, as if it was important for me to see everything about the situation very clearly and know if that dog was even really my dog. I was now finally focused on the dog, distracted from going forward in my goal, my mission.

I stared to try to make out her face better. My attitude was of one who is sure that some evil, some deceptive thing had happened, and I would see the truth in the matter and not ignore it, and accept it, if it was present. (Yes, I know that was a run-on sentence.) As I looked intently, the body very gradually seemed to become more muscular and rose up higher than the size it was. Along with that, the face became fuller and wider. It was a gradual transformation, almost difficult to detect; so I kept looking to be sure that I wasn't imagining it. The transformation quickened, then suddenly this likeness of a dog became that of a dark and evil creature unknown on this planet. There was thick looking skin like a pig, but very dark in color, with small dark or black eyes, and there were horns coming out of the top of it's head. It was as the horns began to develop that it realized I was seeing it for what it truly was; so it made a frightening sound as it lunged toward me slightly, as if to intimidate me. I was startled to the point that I awoke.

Many times, I understand what God is saying very clearly. This time it was difficult for me to interpret the dream, but I believe that it is because of my religious bias. I do not want to believe what this dream may mean. I hate to even think about what I think this dream is telling me.  I am going to record it, even if I don't want to believe it; because I believe God spoke to me this way, as He has many times.

I think this dream is about the Catholic Church. I think it is about the leadership. Not all. But some. Like those priests who would teach treacherous, liberal lies to their unsuspecting sheep. Through symbolism, the dream is showing that there are teachers in the Catholic Church who are as ravaging dogs, but appear to be the close family friend. They are disguised, and possibly they have actually been faithful Christians at one time, but now they attack the truth behind your back when you aren't looking. They are harming people who are simple and innocent, as they go about doing the will of the evil one; the attack is on the gospel of truth, Jesus, the Christ.

When I saw it clearly for the evil imposter that it was and the evil deed it was doing, it saw me as a danger to it's self-serving purposes. It wished to threaten me because of my knowledge, because I could see the truth; and I think the next obvious thing it would know is that I would be able to expose the truth of it to others, and effectively stop it. I think that who I represented in this dream is our Pope, actually. I believe he will be distracted in his focus on his mission to reach the world for Christ in order to deal with this now.

I believe that what happened at Notre Dame is that the animal has shown itself to be the evil that I believe Pope Benedict XVI has been aware of and now clearly sees. Our Catholic youth there at that commencement were dead in their faith. There is no doubt about what has happened in their hearts and minds. This disturbing ordeal has surely gotten our Pope's attention. Something must be done to stop this madness of Catholics defending the killing our smallest human beings as though abortion is just a personal choice and a mere topic for discussion.

Look harder and see the evil reality of murder. There is no way to justify killing the innocent little human beings for the sake of other important social issues. Choose life. I just watched an abortion on youtube. It is unbelievably cruel and inhumane and sickening. Maybe today's generation needs to see that because you cannot imagine the horror of that happening inside of your own body with your own permission and money paid to murder your own baby. Your mind just won't let you. I watched the video, because I found it interesting that I have seen preborn baby pictures, I've had ultasounds and seen my own children, and I've seen actual tiny baby human fetuses--and still, even I could believe a lie enough to contemplate having an abortion at several difficult times in my life. God have mercy on us.

I'm sad tonight. Sometimes it feels like you try so hard. You work. You sweat. You pray. But it doesn't work out the way that you'd have liked it to. That's when I realize once again, that although I have done what I could, as have others, God is the One who is in control. It isn't that I'm a control freak and need to be corrected, it's just the best way to remember to look at things. It matters that we mortals try. But it is God who makes it all happen--or not.

And if not, then somehow there is something else. Something better than a mere mortal could have contemplated w/in my limited human experience. This is surely to be the case as has always been the case throughout human history. Knowing this, I understand that I should be happy. But forgive me, today I find distressing. Earlier, I was more than distressed, I was disturbed. Being at Mass has been quite helpful. It was the most powerful message about prayer that I have heard in a long time. Interestingly, I think it was not a message delivered in a speech of motivation, really. I think it was more of a profile of a saint. I don't even recall her name, mostly because I was in no frame of mind to care about anything but running to God and climbing into His lap and crying in His arms.

Father Matt spoke of many types of prayer. He explained just a bit about the different ways that one can pray. It wasn't deep, but for me, there was a deeper meaning that gripped me than would have in a detailed lesson on prayer. It was enough to sooth my soul to some degree. And it was as if God was holding me closer than I expected Him to. And then I wondered about how I had come to a place where I had not expected His love to engulf me, when I had run to Him unreservedly.

Somehow, I had gotten away from my deeply personal and interactive prayer life. I have continued to pray, but with being so busy and knowing how much responsibility I have and going forward with trying to do my best to get us through a rough time, I have prayed less and I have prayed differently. Lately I have prayed to make sure that I have prayed. It used to be that I had prayed because I had something to say to my Father God and I was open to hear what He had to say to me. The thing is, I still hear Him. Just as He spoke to me today at church. Like a good parent, He saw me stumble and He assisted me right away so that I can go forward again, but now strengthened as a child is with the encouragement from her parent.

This post can apply to any situation; but for the record, my feelings were brought on due to watching the Notre Dame commencement proceedings with a president who advances an extreme anti-life agenda receiving an honor in law there and then giving the commencement speech. Ironically, pro-life believers in Christ were arrested on the same campus. Additionally, when someone spoke out for life during his speech, Catholics chanted against the sole pro-life voice  and the person was removed from the ceremony.

Today is a historic day. For Catholics. For America. Not for what was seen today at Notre Dame. But for what will be seen tomorrow because of what happened at Notre Dame today. That will be a very different matter. Today and Notre Dame is ground zero. A spiritual battle has begun. We are the soldiers of the light. God is in control.

Naturally, right about the time I become unemployed, my son begins to have deteriorating tennis shoes. Now, after having these shoes for about 4 months, they have gotten to the point that they must be thrown out. At this time, they are no longer useful. The bottom of one of them has come apart now.

 The day before they completely fell apart, Javier's school principal came over to me as I waited on my children to exit the school. She almost apologetically explained that she did not wish to offend me at all, and that she knows I've been having a hard time lately since I don't have any income. And then came to topic of Javier needing some shoes.

She then proceeded to tell me about one of my son's classmates, who had noticed this. The boy had begun a conversation in the classroom about the differences in the sizes of shoes that his classmates all wore, and other topics pertaining to tastes in clothing. This was all done in the most discrete way, in order to gain information so that he could go about doing something for my son. The principal stated that his family would like to get him another pair of tennis shoes, and that she would like me to give permission, and accept the gift from the boy's family. She stressed that he was a Christian in their church, and that this would not be used to embarrass my son in any way in the future. She said that she was speaking to me as one from the church, not as the principal of the school.

She told me of all of these details in between my asking questions, and choking back tears because of what was laid on the heart of that little boy. This conversation coming from this Christian woman in such a caring way touched my heart. I understood very well the way she had carefully explained everything so as not to offend or upset me. In fact, I know from my own experience. Our interaction took me back in time to when I was about 9 or 10 years old; when I was the young child in a Catholic school where they had taken notice that my mother was struggling with finances, and caring Christians felt compassion for our family.

Several people, including nuns from our school, came to our home and brought one dish of food after another in to set them upon our table. With amazement and wide eyes and gratefulness, my siblings and I just marveled at all of the wonderful food that filled our table after they had said their good-byes and left. Being the oldest of the latchkey kids, I didn't allow my siblings to eat anything until my mother returned. So we waited it out, each of us having in mind what food we would eat first. This was especially exciting and we were extremely anxious to dig in because we had been literally living on canned creamed corn on top of a slice of bread every day for I don't know how long, maybe more than a month.

When my mother returned, she blew a fuse. Outraged, she ranted on to all of us about not wanting anybody's pity and our family pride. She promptly called the church and told the person on the other end of the connection that they were to come to our home and take the food back immediately. My brothers, my sister, and I caught glimpses of those who followed my mother's demands;, picking up each and every dish of our feast, and taking it right back out of our front door. We were silent and we softly cried at dinner that night as we each ate from our plates of canned creamed corn on a slice of bread.

It was not because I am oblivious to my responsibilities for my children, and it isn't out of ignorance of being looked upon as "the poor", that I thanked Priscilla and accepted the upcoming gift for my son. It is because I understand something that my mother didn't. I will accept the shoes with gratitude and pride, because they are being given in genuine Christian love. We are the hands that God uses as we follow his example of compassion, as He meets the needs of His children. In other words, Jesus gave my son those tennis shoes. We teach our children that whatever we do for others, we do for Him. Who am I to refuse to be on the receiving end of that Christian truth due to "pride"? Yes, it is difficult to be on the receiving end. But it is right to let my son be blessed. And it is right to let his classmate experience the joy of selfless giving. I told the principal to make sure to tell that student that "I saw Jesus in that little boy today."

Wake up because of frantic, fighting kids, one of them having dirtied the floors and the stairs as she'd run all around the house trying to get disgusting cat poop off of her feet. The cat had been slipped chocolate the day before by one of the children, so she had diarreah and left evidence of being sick upstairs and down in an effort not to get scolded for going potty in the house all in one place. Everybody needed me all at once, and nobody could do a thing on their own. One of the children wailed and pounded relentlessly, having locked himself in the bathroom and could not open the door. Add in unannounced visitors showing up while I was in bedhead mode with no makeup on, in the middle of a totally trashed house, holding poopy rags in my hand. Not to mention a baby screaming for milk while wearing an uncomfortable full diaper.

Thinking about this makes me sigh and chuckle. These were typical days in my past, having 4 babies all in diapers at one time in my life. In fact, I remember at one point in my life, not eatting a hot meal for months, as babies always needed something and my plate of food was put on hold. Oh, gee, that's dating myself, that was before I had a microwave.

By contrast, yesterday may have seemed to be a pretty uneventful day for me, especially for single adults. I disagree. Yesterday was so peaceful and easy that it was probably the most noteworthy day in many years for me. Sibling rivalry was at an all-time minimum, with my children actually reminding one another that they needed to get along for Mom. Wow!

I have to admit that part of the reason that Mother's Day went so well was because I decided not to make anybody do anything. This took care of not having any conflicts or disobedient behavior. So yeah, I cheated. And I'm glad I did. Of course, I can't not require anything of my children as a matter of daily life, but it served it's purpose yesterday in giving me a day of rest and relaxation. All glorious day!

It also seemed like everything went well all day, no matter what it was. When I took my shower, I was only disturbed by one phone call rather than children hollering and screaming like they were being assaulted by violent machette weilders who were chasing them around. When I wrote my article for my column at Examiner.com, I didn't have to do any research, except to hunt for youtube videos that were enjoyable to listen to, and brought me happy tears. The videos that I was checking into to post were all versions of "You and me against the world" and "In my daughter's eyes". I watched most of "Bolt" with my children. They do appreciate having me watch movies with them, you know. It is a treat for them, but it is usually a chore for me because I have so many other things that I need to be doing, and so I mostly do what I must and catch just a few minutes here and there.

I got a few gifts that showed me that people really do honor me or even just think of me from time to time. My youngest child made me some artistic creation that was special. Ana chose some chips for herself when I treated my kids at the store that we'd walked to early in the day, which she had actually chosen to be able to give them to me as a gift. My very good friend, Eric, came by and blessed my heart with his yellow rose and his presence. He didn't even mention that my home and I were a mess. And he read my column. I consider it a special honor and I feel valuable to him when he takes the time to read what I have written. He also drove me to a carniceria to get some arrachera preparada, that is easy to cook and que rico!

We all had to get ready for church later, though. And everyone co-operated with my instructions to pick up around, get dressed, and get into the car. Sweet! I am so glad that we went to Mass last night. It turned out that it was a celebration for Catholic young people who were being confirmed. Mass went on longer than usual because of the celebration. Yet what was wonderful about that being on Mother's Day was that there couldn't have been a better example of young people standing up and speaking to the parish about God and our faith for my children to witness. How good God is to have this event scheduled on Mother's Day, for what better thing is there in the whole world for mothers than to have our children present where young people, who they identify with, are standing up for Christ.

Javier made my day yesterday. He cleaned out the BBQ grill, got the fire going, kept the fire going, barbequed the meat for over an hour, maintained a safe worksite, fanned the flames, didn't mind being served last, doused the hot coals, and cleaned up after himself. And all of it without me telling him much of anything. I did have to stop him from putting more lighter fluid on the hot coals a couple of times when huge flames suddenly appeared a couple of times well after the coals were hot. But hey, this was his first try at and being totally in charge of barbequeing. Awesome job, son! Your helpfulness, selflessness, and being so responsible makes me cry happy tears.

I wrote an article entitled "Notre Dame: Scandal! and growing Catholic outrage" which is well done. Of course, I anticipated that the secularists would have something negative to say. After all, I am writing to support Catholicism, which is a target for anti-religious zealots who wish to sin without any criticism from Christians. It doesn't take long for them to post their comments which are designed to shut me up and make me feel embarrassed about my religion.

Well, I'm not embarrassed about being a Catholic, and I am proud of my answer back to my critics so I'm recording it here since it is so important. I don't know that readers will read my comment, which is so far down the article page but people really need to understand the issue on child sexual abuse. Consequently, it bears repeating here.

This blog is a recounting of some slice of life happening day to day in my life. The portion of my life that I wish to share today is my comment in response to those who attack my Catholic faith based on child sexual abuse. What these people write has nothing to do with understanding in a realistic and is not based in fact. They wish to discredit Catholicism and mock Christians. They wish us to go away if we will not relent and accept as a part of our religion their liberal agenda and anti-life secular belief system. I am posting here my answer to their objections to Catholic believers who do not agree with Notre Dame and other Catholic Universities giving a speaking platform and honorary degrees to politicians who are boldly and unashamedly anti-life. http://www.examiner.com/x-4317-Denver-Roman-Catholic-Examiner~y2009m5d9-Notre-Dame-Scandal-and-growing-Catholic-outrage (the link doesn't work)

Here are two of the lame attacks:

By TheOne: "Maybe instead of getting all indignant over the President having the right to have his own opinion, just maybe they should lobby the Vatican for an 11th commandment! "Priests shall not Molest our Children", Then they just might, for once, be doing something useful! The Church is supposed to be here to give Guidance when asked, not tell people how to run their lives. When the Abortion Clinics have no Catholics going to them, then they can point their finger and talk about what other people do. They might try Turning in, instead or relocating Priests that they know have molested children and covering up for them, while they're at it too!"

By Seriously: "SERIOUSLY - Catholic=HYPOCRITE

Stop your priest from molesting young boys. Stop your ridiculous policy on birth control that leads to the abandoning of children in third world countries, stop your moral judgment over others while your history shows you to be the force behind countless deaths.

But really, start with the molesting of young boys. Once you have that under control, lets have a public debate on morality - once you have proven that you actually have some..."

Here is my slam:

Child sexual abuse is a human problem, not a Catholic principle or dogma. The Catholic Church has addressed this issue within our ranks, with the US Conference of Catholic Bishops participating in identifying those who harmed children and leveling consequences.

Charol Shakeshaft, the Hofstra University scholar who prepared a draft report commissioned by the U.S. Department of Education in 2000, stated regarding teacher-student sex, "roughly 290,000 students experienced some sort of physical sexual abuse by a school employee from a single decade—1991-2000. That compares with about five decades of cases of abusive priests." As of yet, I haven't seen people rush to attack educators on grounds that they are child abusers.

The American Religious Identification Survey that was published in March 2009, following over 220,000 interviews and 3 surveys, displays a table on page 5 showing that only 25% of the adult US population religiously identifies as Catholic. If we were to postulate that 25% of the adults guilty of child sexual abuse in schools is Catholic, that would result in 75% being non-Catholic.

Researcher and historian Philip Jenkins claims that the Roman Catholic Church is being unfairly singled out by a secular media which he claims fails to highlight similar sexual accusations in other religious groups, such as the Anglican Communion, Islam and Judaism, and various Protestant churches, communities. Jenkins later authored the book The New Anti-Catholicism: The Last Acceptable Prejudice in 2003, touching on some of the same issues.[48] Similar experiences are described in e.g. scouting sex abuse cases and Jehovah's Witnesses and child sex abuse. (Wikipedia)

Furthermore, statistics consistently find that more girls are sexually abused than boys, and the past scandal regarding Catholic priests rightly accused them of molesting boys. 30-40% of child sexual abuse is found to have come from family members and some 40% is the result of other children who are older or bigger than the victims.

Seriously, one of the best things we can do for our society is stop watching and believing the left-wing secular bias on the nightly news and educate ourselves.

It takes about 15 minutes to get from my home to an online school where my children are able to have an education without too much liberal view interjected throughout the day. After dropping them off, I had to get to the nearby store and get lunches for them, since time did not allow me to do that the day before. There was only one cashier, who was tied up with a customer. I had to take my purchase to a self-serve cashier without any customer service skills. The dumb thing couldn't help me because it didn't recognize my phone number, and I had lost the card for this store a long time ago. It let me know that a real person had been notified that I needed help. I looked around for who that could possibly be. There was a customer service person just a couple of feet away, but she was chatting. Then she went away.

Not one to just wait around, I tried to get my wired and metal cashier to do it's job. I pushed it's buttons, let me tell you. I had an appointment with government watchers in about an hour, but my kids needed to get their lunches before I could even head over there. Once again I was informed that I was a difficult customer and had been reported to a customer service representative. As I write this, I realize that I really don't recall being told that anybody was actually going to help me. But anyway, I looked over at that chatty woman who looked back at me that time. Since she didn't approach me to help me, I told her about the money taker's attitude problem.

After being bothered to have to walk a couple of feet, the human instructed me to pay for my purchase with my card as if the problem was with me. I told her that I had put my phone number in but I wasn't getting the discount. She went back over to her booth and looked at the screen. Having been communicated with, she came back to me and handed me a new card, telling me I needed to update information on the form and submit it to the store. I didn't have time for that, but the good news is the new card worked right away.

I brought the quickest thing, Lunchables, to my kids and departed immediately. I drove home, parked my car, took my dog to potty outside, gathered my paperwork, and proceeded to walk over to the building that I was required to go to if I expected to continue to receive food assistance for my family. We hadn't had food stamps for 2 months, and I had received a frightening letter stating that we had been terminated. I had already spoken with a customer service representative about that.

I couldn't believe that I had been terminated when I don't even have an income. The rep checked on things and let me know that I could disregard the termination letter because an approval had gone through for my family. She said I had to go through the Colorado work registration appointment that was scheduled for me. I've been through this process before several years ago.

The government wants to watch your job search. But it is a much improved way to do things. The other time that I had to go through this, I was actually required to perform at leaset 30 hours of weekly community service; and I submitted a complaint over it. How could I look for work when they were tying me up all day with community service! I have nothing against serving my community. I do that regularly, whether organized within an agency, or on my own as I see a need. Maybe my complaint helped affect this positive change.

And so I was there at 9:08 for my 9:15 appointment. I spoke with the receptionist who informed me where it was, but that they weren't going to let me in; because they had already started, and I was late. I didn't let her words stop me, I explained that I was going to go speak with somebody there. I walked through the building to greet a closed door with the words of the program and an additional sign that said something like do not disturb, class in session. I knocked and tried the locked door.

A woman opened the door and told me that I could not come in and I was late. I tried to show her my paperwork, stating that my appointment was at 9:15. She said that the class had started at 8:45 and I would need to return next Tuesday. I asked why my paperwork has the wrong time on it and made it clear that I needed to be there and didn't need any problems over this. She assured me that I could come back next week, no problem. She said that some people know what time they start and some of them don't. Nice. I repeated her information to be sure of things. "Okay, next Tuesday at 8:45." She corrected me on the time. "12:45," Then the Employment First counselor wrote the rescheduled appointment on my paperwork.

In looking over the accompanying documentation, I also have paperwork stating that my information "must" be returned by 5-11-09. Oh brother. My appointment is on the 12th. So that'll be about a half hour on the phone trying to reach somebody and explain things. It may also include going down to the human service building to submit documentation of their error. Inconvenience, yes, but I can tell that this is one of the few, less problematic issues involving mis-communication and lack of accurate information within the system. Thank God. 

Last night, just before my daily slice of life that I post here in my blog, I posted this http://www.examiner.com/x-4317-Denver-Roman-Catholic-Examiner~y2009m5d5-Miss-California-reveals-much-with-topless-photos article in my column. About a half an hour later I checked on my views because, although I knew I had done a fantastic job, I had released the article at nearly midnight. From what I understand, articles are best published first thing in the morning so that they get optimum reader numbers. So I hoped that I'd see a couple of hits, which is normal to see. I was totally shocked. 47! And, I was listed in the top 5 examiners in both categories of Spirituality and Religion, and in the Denver Examiners. I have never seen anyone listed in both simultaneously. (It may well have happened, of course.) On top of that, I was number 1 in both.:)

An hour later, just before calling it a night, I checked again just to see if there were really so many people quickly hitting my page. Hoping I had made my usual dollar a day, I checked my stats and found that the hits were over 200 already. I remained in the number 1 spot for both categories up until about noon today. That's fantastic! And thank you, Carrie Prejean, who is the reason for my high hits.

Sometime mid-morning I decided that I needed to try to figure out how to get the link list set up because over 1200 people had already taken a look at my page. I figured out how to do it with the Examiner help area. I hunted down Catholic sites for my readers to link to, and I got it all done. That was a smart thing to do, because some interested readers who like what I write may bookmark my page if I have a good link list to useful sites. I am still learning so much; but as I am able to gain more knowledge, and as more computer/internet skills are gained through experience, I make myself more marketable. The plus is that sometime in the near future, writing will not be such a chore for me. No doubt someday I will also have decent equipment that doesn't take a slow half hour to get what would take me about 10 minutes on a good computer. Learning more is always a plus even when one never knows what opportunity awaits around a hidden corner.

I finished out the day with an amazing 2813 hits! Wow! That won't happen again for a long, long time. So today I allow myself to be totally proud of my bad self. Today, I was amazing. I am still in awe over how well my plan went with getting those links done. A rare thing, to have one of my plans exceed the expectations that I have for myself--this time in hoping for big numbers with a creative writing endeavor making use of a hot topic and the perfect first-paragraph hook. Thank you, Lord, for the gifts that You have given to me, and for my God-given opportunity to be at Examiner.com where I am able to serve You and improve myself. And get to finally be a published writer as You intended for me to be. Amen.

Mr. Murphy must have forgotten about me for a change. Sweet! Success with not too much struggle is rare and wonderful.

Fox News was on when my daughter and her boyfriend, Al, came by this evening. Al took an interest right away in what was being shown in a compilation of gaffs by the one temporarily living in the White House. From that piece by Sean Hannity, Al began some sparring with me and found me to be a worthy contender. It was clear that he was intent on showing me the error of my faith-without-reasoned ways. Problem is my faith is not without reason. Heh.

A couple of the highlights are here. Al commented that conservatives had complained when people said negative things about President Bush. My response was that since it did happen to our last President, why shouldn't it be the new guy's turn.

He then said that Sean Hannity should lead the republican party or be their voice or something. I said that he was good as a speaker but that he would not be the right person to run in a presidential election. We chatted about that for a minute.

We then traded views on Fox News. He didn't like just the conservative view and felt that Colms was a poor liberal representative when they had him on. He said Rupert Murdock gives the reporters talking points, and has a great deal of money. I said Murdock is a powerful person, but that he doesn't do enough because the nightly news on the other networks don't have a good competitive news program.

He also said that they lie on Fox News but he could not give me any examples. Later in the conversation, Al recalled something about the lying being exposed in the tea party on MSNBC which I will check out as promised. He also wants me to watch Out Fox, which I said I would. These suggestions followed my suggestion for him to dig for sources on the internet rather than accept whatever the reporters are saying.

Al expressed frustration about Fox News being biased. I told him that it was important that Fox News exists, along with conservative talk radio. He asked why it was important. I said we need a balance and pointed out that it was interesting that he didn't like Fox to have a bias but how many other news networks have the opposite bias. I told him that for years the other networks had the stage to indoctrinate viewers along with the public education system.

It went on for a good while and we both were civil about it. He did make a point about my speaking in terms of "us" and "them" with regard to liberals and conservatives. I have never spoke in that way since being educated; but unfortunately, the left is not open to fairness.

He had asserted that liberals believe one thing, and conservatives believe differently correctly. I pointed that out to him, and I told him that he is the only liberal I have ever heard say that. I fully explained to Al that secularism is a belief system and that those on the left have an agenda and have been able to brainwash students because of not having another view presented.I stated very firmly that we are done with freedom of speech applying only to those with politically correct views, and that we are going to take our country back.

There was more, but you get the idea. I had a good sparring session today. Thank you, Lord, for letting me serve You in such an important way. I will pray for Al more. He claims to only want the truth. He got that today.

You get the idea. It was spirited and fun to spar with him because he actually had to listen to me, not just post an offensive, insulting comment after one of my articles and run.

Another day, another dollar. Really.

At the present time, I am unemployed. I am looking for work, but there are several factors that are causing me problems in finding gainful employment. A few follow--

For one thing, I don't have many skills. Except in raising children, writing, using common sense, thinking on my feet, and standing up for those who need an advocate.  That all fits in very nicely with non-profit jobs. The problem is the non-profits that pay are those waging a war against conservative principles. That's out.

I don't have much experience in what is offered in office work. Good grief, the tasks listed for receptionists these days amount to being a secretary or an administrative assistant, with the pay of a Dollar Store cashier. Kids coming out of high school have a better shot at getting a decent-paying job than I do, since they have all the computer skills.

A lot of "available positions" turn out to be information-gathering outfits. I think that is how the bill collectors got my phone number. When I know of something being a scam, I will sometimes flag the post to save others who may be desperate for work unnecessary grief and wasted time.

I've even applied for temporary work, but nothing happens. They say that you either have to arrive around 5 or 6 am to be considered for labor jobs, or I have to call each day for something in an office. That's nuts. Why can't they just call you if they get something, instead of expecting you to sit around? I'm busy. I have to get my kids in school at 7:30. I feel my time is better spent hunting elsewhere than sitting and waiting. Maybe I'm wrong.

But I am a risk-taker. Even as a single parent, I do take chances that turn out good for awhile, and serve the purpose of allowing me to provide for my family. I'll give you an example. Today I spoke with my next door neighbor's son. He has the legal authority to make decisions for his mother. I had already investigated home health care positions. In doing so, I discovered that that job could be done by a client's choice in a person willing to perform in that role. This guy was waiting for me to get him the phone number. I found several and I gave him those phone numbers to speak with somebody regarding (edited per Eric) a home health care independent contractor position of sorts.

My neighbor is supposed to finally be released from yet another medical facility in about 20 days. Normally, she gets care in her home by some home health care company who pays their personal care person $8/hr. I told him that I want to take care of Linda full time as an independent person under this (edited per Eric) program and make a decent wage. His mother really likes me, and I have been helping her as a friend, as a good Samaritan, as a neighbor. Her son knows that I have taken good care of her and treated her with respect. He has no doubt that I genuinely care about the woman.  So it just may happen. May God honor my efforts. It would be perfect to work right next door to my home. It solves the child care issues. That is my biggest problem.

In the meantime, let me go check it...$1.33. That's how much I made with my writing today for Examiner.com. It's not a great article, but that's because it's the first of 3 or 4 in a series I am creating on The Catholic Identity Crisis. All together, my project will be awesome. Anyway, I made my first point. I identified the problem.

I would really appreciate it if conservatives from our Townhall.com site would help me out with that project. I just need comments to compile and investigate and tabulate, in order to write the truth about what is actually going on in America. My column is in national news media, so you know what I get--comments that attack the traditional Christian point of view. I need a healthy balance. And I'd really appreciate your voice. Here's that article: http://www.examiner.com/x-4317-Denver-Roman-Catholic-Examiner~y2009m5d4-Identifying-the-Catholic-identity-crisis

I bet you thought I made a lot more money than that, huh?

I received a phone call this morning from my 24-year-old daughter, who lives and studies in Michigan. She asked if I was home, and I told her that I was. The next thing I heard her say was, "Knock, knock." I was so thrilled to see her again after 2 years. I ran out to greet her as she approached our home, stumbling over her excited, animated siblings who were surrounding me; and I couldn't help but think that we looked like the keystone cops all bumping into one another in an effort to rush to hug her.

We traded a few little stories, and funny happenings, and what our lives were about at the present time. All of the kids worked together creating characters for Kristin and her boyfriend on our American Idol music game. Some of us sang with our Sing Star games "Legends" and "80s".  Our reunion could have been uncomfortable and short, because my daughter and I do not see things the same way. I admit it, I love a liberal. I don't know when this change in her happened; or most likely it didn't happen all at once, but grew from mere doubts in her faith to full-blown error in her thinking.

Last year when I went on about the upcoming election; and in particular when I had insightful, significant things to say about the democratic candidate, she did not respond. My suspicions about her taking a left turn proved correct when she gave me a straight answer, about 3 months ago, regarding who she voted for and why. Bless her heart, she's just ignorant. She has no idea she's been duped.

The responsibility to maintain our relationship, despite opposing political views, lies with me. I know more about the misleading, misinforming media, the doublespeak that comes out of a politicians mouth, how far our country has come, what rights have been taken from US citizens, and which ones are currently being threatened. And--I view Youtube. She watches Saturday Night Live. Yes, okay; I also learn a lot from conservative talk radio and Fox News, and by digging for direct, credible sources to read on the internet.

We were all just at church together. The homily was excellent. "Jesus is our shepherd. He accepts you just as you are. But He loves you too much to let you stay that way." How about that? Father Kevin Augustine from the University of Colorado in Boulder had also burst into my life scene today as a visitor. Thank God for good men like him who are on our college campuses to be a light in the engulfing darkness. His message fits so perfectly with what I am in my daughter's life.  I am  my daughter's shepherd. Jesus, is my example. He would not beat up on the sheep to try to get them to where He wants them to be. He would lay down His life for them. In fact, He did. So I will continue to love her with my whole heart. And in my loving her, I will creatively and relentlessly remind her of her Catholic faith and our Christian principles. And with my example and conversation, I will continuously show her that our in living our faith, our responsibilities must extend into the political realm.

Seeing my baby was just like a blast from the past, looking at myself, except that my daughter is drop-dead gorgeous. In being with Kristin today, I recalled how giddy and youthful I was at her age. How uninformed and how gullible I was. How naive and innocent I was. How insecure I was. Although I didn't know it at the time. I also remembered just how liberal-minded I was. Being the substance of open-mindedness, compassion, and inexperience makes one fertile ground for liars to plant their delusive seeds in. As she is today, I was yesterday. Duped. But I learned as I experienced life. And I grew up. Today I am proud of who I am, and I have a mature confidence in knowing that what I believe is correct. Of course, the truth is the right thing to believe in. Kristin just doesn't know what the truth is yet.

When it all comes down to it, today was an awesome day. I am privileged to be able to see how far my daughter has come in her young life, and I can also see where life will take her in the future. Like me, she is smart. I am no longer afraid for her outcome in life or for the fate of her children when she experiences the joys and sorrows of motherhood. Besides, she has an advantage that I didn't have--I am her mother. Physically, my baby came home today. Tomorrow will bring back her faith in a solid, unshakable way, along with her common sense. Hey, look at me.

This is an example of some of that creative teaching I was talking about: http://www.examiner.com/x-4317-Denver-Roman-Catholic-Examiner~y2009m5d1-Having-fun-with-the-swine-flu-name-game

My daughter, being told to help clean up, suddenly remembered that we had an invitation to go to a community outreach that was being put on by a church called Victory Outreach. Since we are having a financial hardship right now, and because I always try to take my children to free events and activities, I informed my kids that they needed to clean up around the livingroom for about 15 minutes and then we'd go. The 15 minutes was actually time I was trying to use to hot roll my hair, put on a little bit of makeup and check myself out in the mirror. Yep, still ugly. I'm not sure why that surprised me.

With all the cheering and excitement, my children had only picked up a couple of things that they had strewn about by the time I was ready to go. But, alas, they weren't ready to go. I had them get their hair brushed, shoes and socks and coats on. Yes, May 2nd of the global warming year 2009 was too cold to go without winter jackets for an outside event in Denver Colorado. While they managed to get that done for about 10 more minutes during sibling rivalry shenanigans, I took care of a couple of things for them, putting cups in the kitchen, yelling at them to "stop it!" And then I stood in the doorway waiting for readied children to eventually make their way over to exit our home.

We actually had easy directions somewhere for a change. In Colorado, good directions are hard to come by. It seems that most people like to use a 7-11 as a destination marker, yet there are 7-11s everywhere you look. We arrived at 4:30. This thing was supposed to go from 4 to 8 pm, meaning that we weren't late. Not being late is a big plus for us, even if technically we were half an hour late had we tried to be there upon the opening and not miss anything.

There were only a handful of people there, it had begun to sprinkle, and it didn't look like much was happening. A couple of the members of the church greeted us and then resumed chatting with others. We made our way into the building but were asked if there was something that they could help us with--meaning that we had invaded territory. I let them know that I had an invitation to come to the "block party".

Donny said that it was postponed until next Saturday because of the weather. He was getting the bbq grill going and said that if we wanted to eat, we could stick around, so we sat on chairs right in front of the building and I honestly felt like a beggar. Mostly because nobody was talking to us. I tried to chit-chat with several people but it just wasn't happening. It didn't feel right to leave because my children had been hoping to go and participate in activities, and eat something. We ate the free food. I'm a mom.

Then it happened that Donny's wife, Nicole, arrived and had cordial social skills, but she left after brief introductions. There were no drinks but Nicole said to wait and she'd be back with them. We waited for about 20 minutes for her to return, but I couldn't take the uncomfortable feeling of knowing that we were being seen as outsiders and beggars any longer. We said our thank yous and our good-byes and then we all went home.